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We all need a smile. Share a good joke with your friends here at CCT
- Rating:
4 after 1 vote
I think the least we can do is make each other smile, or groan with some good humor.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bobby C. on -
My Ex-Wife and I used to do it doggy style.........I sat up and begged and she rolled over and went to sleep......Badda BOOM!
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Permalink Reply by Dorothy on -
While out fishing, an old geezer said to the other, "I think I'm going to get a divorce". The other geezer, "Why?"
First geezer, "She hasn't spoken to me in two months". Response, "I wouldn't be too hasty. Another woman like that is hard to find!"
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Permalink Reply by Pablo on -
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.
"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody here know this boy's name?"
One man stood up and said,"I don't know him, but his face sure does ring a bell."
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Permalink Reply by Pablo on
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A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."
The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
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Permalink Reply by Pablo on
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One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked."I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them."
His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church. One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the pastor!"
A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's \$20.00". She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound Of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be \$25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was \$20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is \$20.00, the duck call is \$3.00, and the stink bait is\$2.50."
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Permalink Reply by Pablo on
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A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!"
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
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Permalink Reply by Stephendipity on -
A blonde pulls into a gas station, goes in and pays the attendant, and goes back out to pump her gas. A couple minutes later, she returns to the attendant, and tells him she has locked herself out of her car, and asks if he has a coat hanger. He happens to have one and gives it to her, and she goes back out. A few minutes later, the attendant starts wondering if she managed to get her car door open, so he goes out to check on her. He sees her working the coat hanger in the door - and the blonde on the inside is saying "no, a little to the left... now a little to the right'.
A blonde is sitting in a rowboat in the middle of a cow pasture. Another blonde sees this, and goes up to the fence, and shouts "Y'know, you're giving all us blondes a bad name!" The blonde in the boat responds, "If I wasn't afraid of drowning, I'd come over there and kick your ass!"
A Frenchman lost his beret in a cow pasture. He tried on 27 of them before he found the right one.
Ba-da-DAH!
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Permalink Reply by Stephendipity on
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8 Blondes walked into a bar, to have a celebration. They all repeatedly raised their glasses in toast, and shouted "16 DAYS! 16 DAYS!" . After a few rounds of this, curiosity got the best of the bartender. He went to their table and asked "Ladies, what are you celebrating?" One of the girls pulled out a jigsaw puzzle box, and pointing to the corner of the box, said "People think blondes are dumb! See this? This says '2 Years', and the 8 of us did it in just 16 days!!"
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Permalink Reply by Stephendipity on
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How many dyslexics does it take to change a ligth blub?
Do you think agnostic dyslexics lay awake at night wondering if there is a doG?
Dyslexics Untie! *raises fist*
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